Life, Love, and Everything In Between

Last one I swear

Music Definitions
ACCIDENTALS: The wrong notes.
AUDITION: The act of putting oneself under extreme duress to satisfy the sadistic intentions of someone who has already made up his mind.
ACCELERANDO: What happens when drummers have to keep a steady beat.
CONDUCTOR: An ignorable figure capable of following numerous individuals at once.
CUT TIME: The sudden realization that everyone else is playing twice as fast as you are.
CRESCENDO: A reminder to the performer that he has been playing too loudly.
CYMBALS: Percussion instruments to be dropped while the band plays pianissimo.
FERMATA: A chance for the conductor to catch his breath while attempting to make his wind players pass out.
GLISSANDO: The way string players play difficult runs.
KEY CHANGE: A change in the main pitch or "tonal center" that takes full effect three to five bars after it is noted in the music.
MUSICA FICTA: When you lose your place and have to bluff until you find it again.
PAGE TURN: A good way to avoid playing the hard parts.
PRACTICE: Don't worry about it. Musicians never do it anyway.
RALLENTANDO: What never seems to happen during the technical passages.
RELATIVE MINOR: A bass player's girlfriend.
RITARD: The idiot behind the stick.
SUBITO PIANO: Indicates an opportunity for some obscure orchestra player to become a soloist.
TEMPO CHANGE: Signal for the musicians to ignore the conductor.
UNISON: A "minor second."
VIBRATO: A way for musicians, especially singers, to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch

posted by That Canadian Guy @ 12:05 a.m.