weird conclusion
i was driving home tonight listening to Nickle Creek. They are a good band, i was listening to the song "Jealous of the Moon", and it goes at one point:
"Stairin' down the stars/ Jealous of the Moon/ You wish you could fly/ Your stayin' where you are/ there's nothing you can do, if your too scared to try"
That line struck a chord with me. If i don't try at something its not going to just happen, whether its work, problems with friends, or love, if i don't put forth an effort nothing will happen. You cannot be 'too scared to try', or life will pass you by.
I think i will put this knowledge to good use.
Other parts of my life are changing as well, i'm moving on from some things that have been hindering me, leaving me too sentimental. As Ben Folds would say "there's a moment in my mind i've scribbled and erased a thousand times", that would describe me, but if im not careful, i'll just be drawing and erasing the same old image, and not creating new ones. Ya, i think that's all i want to say for now
had a weird night last night
so last night, well as of now it was two nights ago, i went over to a friends house. We were gonna watch Star Wars. So i get there, he's not there, but his brother, my friend Fank, and 3 other people i've never met are there. It think the guy's name was tim..? And there were also two girls there i had never met. It took me all off a minute to realize that these girls were completely drunk. It also took me very little time to realize they were a little younger than me. So halfway through the second movie there was a smoke break, for the smokers (eww), and Andrew, my friends brother, wanted to show me a simulation he was running on his computer. His computer was just on the other side of the room, so we walked over to it and he started to load it. The conversation that i heard next went like this:
Drunk girl 1: Is Don still here?
Drunk girl 2: I dunno, ya
Drunk girl 1: That Don guy is F--king hot! Is he still here? Cus he's hot
To which i anwser: Um, ya, i'm uh right here (10 feet away)
Drunk girl 1: C'mere an sit down (pats couch next to her)
Me: Uh that's okay
Drunk girl 1: Are you still in school?
Me: Um, well, im in University
Drunk girl 1: That's so cool...
Me: Are YOU still in school (i knew she was, but i didn't know what else to say)
Drunk girl 1: YA! Im 17, im in grade 11
Me: Oh, that's nice, the same age as my sister (i turn and walk away)
It was an odd night of me being told i was hot by a drunk 17 year old girl. More funny than anything.
Moral of the story is that: Drunk chicks think im hot
Changes! (teefed from kim)
How Much have you changed in 4 years?
.
HOW MUCH HAVE YOU CHANGED IN 4 YEARS
Body:
--- 4 Years Ago -------
1.) How old were you? 15
2.) Where did you go to school?Holy Trinity Academy
3) Where did you work? I wasn't old enough to work yet
4.) Where did you live? Outside Okotoks, Glady's Ridge
5.) Where did you hang out? Friends houses mostly
6.) Did you wear glasses? Nope
7.) Who was your best friend/s? Rob,Matt,Brad
8.) How many tattoos did you have? 0
9.) How many piercings did you have? 0
10.) What car did you drive? I was "chauffered" by my parents
11.) Had you been to a real party? Heck yes, wherever i went was a party
12.) Had You had your heart broken? not really.
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? single
-------------2 years ago-----------
1.) How old were you? 17
2.) Where did you go to school? Highwood Highschool
3) Where did you work? Still nowhere, my parents said school was my job
4.) Where did you live? Still on Glady's Ridge
5.) Where did you hang out? Movie Theatre's, and friends houses
6.) Did you wear glasses? no
7.) Who were your best friends? Rob, Matt
8.) Who was your crush? hmmm... in grade 12, i was too busy for one
9.) How many tattoos did you have? 0
10.) How many piercings did you have? 0
11) What car did you drive? Still in the lap of luxury with a chauffer
12) Had your heart broken? kinda
13. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? single
--------------------Today--------------------
1.) How old are you? Shouldn't you be able to add this up from my last statement of how old i was, c'mon people don't be so lazy
2.) Where do you work? Teach piano and work at Golf Town
3.) Where do you live? live in calgary, sleep at home on Glady's Ridge
4.) Do you wear glasses? no
5.) Who are your best friends?Rob, Matt, Anshu, Cydney, Kim, Ryan
6.) Do you talk to your old friends? of course
7.) How many piercings do you have? 0
8.) How many tattoos? 0
9.) What kind of car do you have? i try to take the loser cruiser as much as possible, but i drive a 1990-91 Dodge/crysler Dynasty
10.) Has your heart been broken? ya, more so than in the past
11.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?: single :(
12)Where do you go to school? Ambrose University College, formerly known as AUC-NUC
sad day
so today i found ou that my grandfather past away. He died about 11:30 while he was cleaning his motorhome. It was very unexpected. It hasn't really sunk in yet. I don't miss him yet i suppose, it will be when i least suspect it that it will hit me. I've never had to deal with the death of a close relative before, but i know i will be okay. God will help me through it, as he does with everything.
This is a tough one to write
but sometimes it just feels good to get stuff out. Besides, no one really reads this, or at least those concerned in this post here...
Im in a really good mood lately. I am finished school, just waiting on marks, and im working full time. Im getting pumped for summer, and actually im listening to The Atari's version of "The Boy's of Summer" right now. But in the midst of all of this happiness i have this sense of confusion. I am mentally stuck between a rock and a hard place. So here it is, if anyone has any suggestions they are always welcome.
I have fallen for a friend. I've known her for a while, and i have fallen pretty bad for her. Anytime i see her i just get really excited. So what's the problem right? Well, she's taken. She is dating a guy. He's a great guy, and she really likes him. So now, must i force myself to move on, or do i wait to see if their relationship becomes straind.
I feel as though moving on would be giving up. I want so much to believe a relationship is possible, but the longer their relationship lasts, the less this is reasonable. Also, if she is happy, im happy. I couldn't imagine being the cause of grief in her life, that would tear me apart. I would never attempt to break someone up. It is very deceitful and low.
The only option i seem to have is to move on, which i really am trying to do, so that i can be a good friend and supportive of the relationship. Any help would be great. BTW im not going to name names online. That's just weird.
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