fear and trembling
I started reading this book last year and only made it through about half of it and then forgot about it. I had enjoyed some of it and had actually dog-eared a couple spots. Today i flipped open to one and it really spoke to me. Here is what it said:
A young lad falls in love with a princess, the content of his whole life lies in this love, and yet the relationship is one that cannot possibly be brought to fuition, be translated from ideality into reality. The slaves of misery, the frogs in life's swamp, natually exclaim: 'Such love is foolishness; the rich brewer's widow is just as good an sound a match' Let them croak away undisturbed in the swamp. This is not the manner of the knoght of infinite resignation, he does not renounce the love, not for all the glory in the world. His is notrifler. He first makes sure that this really is the content of his life, and his soul is too healthy and proud to squander the least thing on getting drunk. He is no cowardly, he is not afraid to let his love steal in upon his most secret, most hidden thoughts, to let it twineitself in countless coils around every ligament of his conscious-ness - if the love becomes unhappy he will never be able to wrench himself out of it. He feels a blissful rapture when he lets it tingle through every nerve, and yet his soul is as solemn as his who has emptied the cup of poison and feels the juice penetrate to every drop of blood - for this moment is life and death. Having imbibed all the love and absorbed himself in it, he does not lack the courage to attempt and ristk everything. He reflects over his life's circumstances, he summons the swift thoughts that like trained doves obey his every signal, he waves his rod over them, aand they rush off in all directions. But now when they all return as messengers of sorrow and explain to him that it is an impossibility, he becomes quiet, he dismisses them, he remains alone, and he performs the movement. If what i say here has any meaning the movement must take place properly. for the knight will then, in the first place have the strength to concentrate the whole of his life's content and the meaning of reality in a single wish. If a person lacks this concentration, this focus, his soul is disintegrated from the start, and then he will never come to make the movement, he will act prudentlly in life like those capitalists who invest their capital in every kind of security so as to gain on the one what they lose on the other - in short, he is not a knight. Secondly, the knight will have the strenght to concentrate the whole of the result of his reflection into one act of consciousness, If he lacks this focus his sould is disintegrated from the start and he will then never have time to make the movement, he will be forever running errands in life, never enter the eternal; for at the very moment he is almost there he will suddenly discover that he has forgotten something and must sturn back. The nest moment he will think it possible, and that is also quite correct; but through such considerations one never comes to make the movement; rather with their help one sinks ever deeper into the mire.
Sheer brilliance, this is how i wish to live, i want to learn the movements of infinity, to be a knight of faith...
It was slightly cool this morning
so i wore a sweater. But...they turned up the heat in the school. Way to go for me for trying to be smart.
I'm going to see 'The Wars' today at Theatre Calgary. I hope its good, its been getting really good reviews and reportedly got a standing ovation on its opening night.
-bonus...i'm going for free!
life
life is a series of beginnings and endings. They are the catalyst for all our actions. While life's journey may be important, what spawns these actions? Beginnings and Endings
Dang! That's a lot of Tolkien
J.R.R. Tolkien was quite the Beowulf feind. He stole so much from Beowulf for Lord Of the Rings. My lit class is full of LOTR nerd...for example. Who else knows the old english phrase that Theodin King of the Rohan sayss when he charges into battle...weird.
whoa
i have a new student...may i say..whoa. That is all...
told ya i'd blog more.
I don't go to chapel because I can't be around you and him. You accidentally called me his name today, that hurt, but i was wearing my mask, so i laughed it off. You can see through my mask, i let you. You pretend you can't see beneath my surface.
I feel bad that i was happy when you were upset at him. He said something dumb, which made you mad, secretly inside i was happy. I don't like that i was happy. I shouldn't enjoy your sadness. Split screen sadness
At the Big Rock (yes that's the actual name of the place)
Elephant
tell me if you want this to lie
'cus this has got to die
this has got to lie down
with someone else on top.
HOLY CRAP WATCH OUT!!!
Sociology
is so boring right now, i'm not paying attention at all. This will probably come back to haunt me.
-we have a sub who is pretty young, and im not sure if she's ever taught a class. She sounds so nervous she just might puke.
Oh man that's a lot of info on Muhammad
so today i learned all about the birth of Muhammad and his early childhood. Someone in the class kinda ragged on Muslim's for believeing absurd things (like birds destroying a christian army with plague laced stones). But someone else fired back the rediculousness of some of the old testament. It was a good class. I like learning about Islam. How can I preach to someone, when i don't know what they believe.
i'm gonna be able to post more often cus im at school all the time now. yay.
oh i went there
Just a thought, but maybe the US should stop giving billions of dollars in weapons to other countires.
Here's why.
When the USSR invaded Afghanistan in the 1970's, it trained and supplied the rebel party that fought off, and eventually beat the Soviet Army. Who was this rebel force you may ask? The Taliban.
Now in the 1980's the US gave weapons and money to Iraq, mostly in an effort to ease relations, and to protect their interests in Iraq. See they were being threatened by Iran. This worked for a while, but then Saddam became to powerful and invaded Kuwait, using weapons he bought from the US.
They also gave a little cash to Saudi Arabia in order to allow them to put troops in that country, which didn't make Osama Bin Laden very happy, cus' that's his home country. And that didn't come back to bite them.
Fast forward a little.
Today the US announced that it is giving 20 billion in weapons to Saudi Arabia rulling family. This would help Saudi Arabia if Iran attacks them. But wait, wouldn't that upset a small American made country just west of Saudi Arabia, namely Israel? I mean Saudi Arabia is a huge supporter of Hamas, who, it would be an understatment to say, doesn't like Israel. This is because Israel was created using land from Palestine (which is where Hamas is from).
Don't worry though, last month the US gave 30 billon in aid in the form of weapons and supplies over the next 10 years to Israel. Which will no likly go towards fighting Hamas and Palestine.
So basically the US is funding the terror that they are supposedly fighting. This puts the country in a perpetual state of conflict and fear. And a country that's in fear is easy to rule.
Oh i went there.
Most Honest One Yet
I myself am my biggest enemy.
My own thoughts are my worst demons, and sometimes they are hard to escape.
I tell myself that i was betrayed, even though i know i wasn't. I wonder how many times i need to tell myself that i'm okay with it before i start believing it. How long must i wear the mask, this mask that i drag with me. I put it on when i need to, and take it off when i feel safe. How i want to be the mask, and not the man behind it.
They say that no man is an island. You know seperate unto himself, but sometimes i wish i was. They my actions wouldn't have such an effect on the people i love.
-->